Hey, I may be fat, but you'll always be ugly, and I can diet.
Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.
Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.
Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...
Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see...all spotty
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.
Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed...
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell
Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?
Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...
Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.
Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!
Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes
Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought
Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here...
You know, I've been asked to get married over a hundreds times.
Yeah, but your parents don't count...
How many people work in your office?
About half of them
Brother: I love biscuits
You: That's cuz your crackers
You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.
:P
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destroyerz2
- Posts: 988
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:01 pm
You do sure have a lot of Well-wishers. They'd all like to throw you down one...
Somebody said to me that you ain't fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception
I hear you're connected to the Police Department - by a pair of handcuffs...
Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
I heard when you were a child your Mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.
I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
Everybody has a photographic memory. You simply don't have the film.
You're about as good lookin as a cross between the Elephant Man and a Pitbull Terrier..
You! Off my planet!
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?
Whilst every girl has the right to be ugly, you seem to have abused that privelige!
You're the kind of man that is a blueprint for building an idiot.
I'd like to leave you with one thought...unfortunately I ain't sure you have anywhere to put it!
Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something intelligent.
Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
Excuse me, is that your nose, or are you eating a Banana?
When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell?
You're so bent you make roundabouts look straight!
I've seen better hands on a leper!
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
You're a habit I'd like to kick -- with both feet.
So now we know why some mammals eat their children...
Somebody said to me that you ain't fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception
I hear you're connected to the Police Department - by a pair of handcuffs...
Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
I heard when you were a child your Mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.
I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
Everybody has a photographic memory. You simply don't have the film.
You're about as good lookin as a cross between the Elephant Man and a Pitbull Terrier..
You! Off my planet!
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?
Whilst every girl has the right to be ugly, you seem to have abused that privelige!
You're the kind of man that is a blueprint for building an idiot.
I'd like to leave you with one thought...unfortunately I ain't sure you have anywhere to put it!
Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something intelligent.
Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
Excuse me, is that your nose, or are you eating a Banana?
When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell?
You're so bent you make roundabouts look straight!
I've seen better hands on a leper!
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
You're a habit I'd like to kick -- with both feet.
So now we know why some mammals eat their children...
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dredisback
- Posts: 1555
- Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:32 am
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destroyerz2
- Posts: 988
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:01 pm
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Ankeetsinha
- Posts: 574
- Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2005 3:13 am
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dredisback
- Posts: 1555
- Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:32 am
