hahahahahaha
Off Topic: Real Stories of A3 Players
My Story:
I was driving my girlfriend home when she decided that she wants to go to her friend instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she told me that she would get naked for me if I drove her. I said ok and she took off all her clothes. I was so busy looking at her that I stacked the car and got stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. I told my girl to go and get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she didn’t have any clothes on. I told her that , “Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!”
She took the shoe and ran to the closest gas station. She found the clerk and asked, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replied, "I’m sorry, I think he's too far in.
I was driving my girlfriend home when she decided that she wants to go to her friend instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she told me that she would get naked for me if I drove her. I said ok and she took off all her clothes. I was so busy looking at her that I stacked the car and got stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. I told my girl to go and get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she didn’t have any clothes on. I told her that , “Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!”
She took the shoe and ran to the closest gas station. She found the clerk and asked, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replied, "I’m sorry, I think he's too far in.
Re: s
nightcrawler999 wrote:dude
if u really think ur hilarious and dont want ppl to mind jokes on them
.... how about one on urself
I hope that my last post will make you happy.
Anyway, I am neither the creator of any of these jokes nor do I think that I am hilarious. As I said in my first post, this is purely for fun.
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dredisback
- Posts: 1555
- Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:32 am
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dredisback
- Posts: 1555
- Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:32 am
THIS IS THE STORY OF DESTROYERZ:-
WELL NOOBY GOT MARRIED AND HE AND HIS WIFE MOVED TO AMERICA, THEY SORTA HAD A THING FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM ONCE THEY GOT THERE. SO THEY GOT THEMSELVES A PLACE IN THE SUBURBS AND WERE THINKING OF HAVING KIDS, BUT THESE BLOKES WERE QUITE AGED.
ONE DAY THEY WERE PLAYING BALL IN THEIR BACKYARD WHEN NOOBY HITS A WICKED SHOT AND BREAKS THE WINDOW PANE OF HIS NEIGHBOUR.
REALSISNG WHAT THEY HAD DONE, THEY DECIDE TO ACT MATURELY AND GO APOLOGISE FOR WHAT THEY DID RATHER THAN SCOOTING AWAY.
THEY GO TO THE NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE AND FIND THE FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED, THEY OPEN THE DOOR AND SEE A DINGY ROOM DIMLY LIT AND A MAN SITTING ON THE COUCH RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, THE ROOM WAS ALL MESSY AND THERE WAS GLASS STREWN ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND A BROKEN VASE LYING THERE AND BESIDE IT WAS THEIR BALL.
"ARE YOU THE PEOPLE WHO BROKE MY WINDOW?" ASKED THE MAN.
"WE ARE EXTREMELY SORRY SIR FOR WHAT WE HAVE DONE AND WE ARE WILLING TO REPAIR YOUR WINDOW........." NOOBY SAID.
THE MAN SAY "NO....NO NEED! I MUST REALLY THANK YOU GUYS AS I AM A GENIE AND I WAS STUCK IN THIS GLASS VASE FOR FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRY THREE YEARS, IT'S BEEN REALLY LONG AND I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY THAT YOU FREED ME, NOW AS PER THE RULES I WOULD HAVE TO GRANT YOU 3 WISHES, BUT I WILL KEEP THE THIRD WISH FOR MYSELF IF YOU DON'T MIND, IT'S BEEN QUITE LONG YOU SEE........."
HEARING THIS BOTH NOOBY AND HIS GIRL GET ALL EXCITED, NOOBY ASKS FOR FIFTY BILLION DOLLARS AND FOR THE WORLD'S BIGGEST COLLECTION OF ASSORTED BARBIE DOLLS!
"YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND! " SAID THE GENIE
HIS GIRL THEN USES HER WISH "I WANT THE MOST BEATIFUL HOUSE IN THE WORLD AND ONE IN EACH AND EVERY COUNTRY IN THIS WORLD"
"DONE" SAID THE GENIE, "NOW IT'S MY TURN, YOU SEE IT'S BEEN FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE YEARS STUCK ALONE IN THAT VASE, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I WISH TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU GIRL FOR ONCE................"
NOOBY AND HIS GIRL LOOK AT EACH OTHER," HONEY, WE DO HAVE ALL THAT WE WISHED FOR(sic) I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND GIVING THE POOR DUDE HIS WISH.............."
SO THE GENIE AND NOOBY'S GIRL HEAD UPSTAIRS AND AFTER A HEAVY SESSION OF MAKING LOVE FOR THREE HOURS, THE GENIE TURNS OVER AND ASKS HER" HOW OLD ARE YOU BOTH?"
" WELL ME AND MY BOYFRIEND ARE BOTH 35"
" 35 ?????, YOU ARE 35 AND YOU STILL BELIEVE IN GENIES??"
WELL NOOBY GOT MARRIED AND HE AND HIS WIFE MOVED TO AMERICA, THEY SORTA HAD A THING FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM ONCE THEY GOT THERE. SO THEY GOT THEMSELVES A PLACE IN THE SUBURBS AND WERE THINKING OF HAVING KIDS, BUT THESE BLOKES WERE QUITE AGED.
ONE DAY THEY WERE PLAYING BALL IN THEIR BACKYARD WHEN NOOBY HITS A WICKED SHOT AND BREAKS THE WINDOW PANE OF HIS NEIGHBOUR.
REALSISNG WHAT THEY HAD DONE, THEY DECIDE TO ACT MATURELY AND GO APOLOGISE FOR WHAT THEY DID RATHER THAN SCOOTING AWAY.
THEY GO TO THE NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE AND FIND THE FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED, THEY OPEN THE DOOR AND SEE A DINGY ROOM DIMLY LIT AND A MAN SITTING ON THE COUCH RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, THE ROOM WAS ALL MESSY AND THERE WAS GLASS STREWN ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND A BROKEN VASE LYING THERE AND BESIDE IT WAS THEIR BALL.
"ARE YOU THE PEOPLE WHO BROKE MY WINDOW?" ASKED THE MAN.
"WE ARE EXTREMELY SORRY SIR FOR WHAT WE HAVE DONE AND WE ARE WILLING TO REPAIR YOUR WINDOW........." NOOBY SAID.
THE MAN SAY "NO....NO NEED! I MUST REALLY THANK YOU GUYS AS I AM A GENIE AND I WAS STUCK IN THIS GLASS VASE FOR FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRY THREE YEARS, IT'S BEEN REALLY LONG AND I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY THAT YOU FREED ME, NOW AS PER THE RULES I WOULD HAVE TO GRANT YOU 3 WISHES, BUT I WILL KEEP THE THIRD WISH FOR MYSELF IF YOU DON'T MIND, IT'S BEEN QUITE LONG YOU SEE........."
HEARING THIS BOTH NOOBY AND HIS GIRL GET ALL EXCITED, NOOBY ASKS FOR FIFTY BILLION DOLLARS AND FOR THE WORLD'S BIGGEST COLLECTION OF ASSORTED BARBIE DOLLS!
"YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND! " SAID THE GENIE
HIS GIRL THEN USES HER WISH "I WANT THE MOST BEATIFUL HOUSE IN THE WORLD AND ONE IN EACH AND EVERY COUNTRY IN THIS WORLD"
"DONE" SAID THE GENIE, "NOW IT'S MY TURN, YOU SEE IT'S BEEN FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE YEARS STUCK ALONE IN THAT VASE, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I WISH TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU GIRL FOR ONCE................"
NOOBY AND HIS GIRL LOOK AT EACH OTHER," HONEY, WE DO HAVE ALL THAT WE WISHED FOR(sic) I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND GIVING THE POOR DUDE HIS WISH.............."
SO THE GENIE AND NOOBY'S GIRL HEAD UPSTAIRS AND AFTER A HEAVY SESSION OF MAKING LOVE FOR THREE HOURS, THE GENIE TURNS OVER AND ASKS HER" HOW OLD ARE YOU BOTH?"
" WELL ME AND MY BOYFRIEND ARE BOTH 35"
" 35 ?????, YOU ARE 35 AND YOU STILL BELIEVE IN GENIES??"
ahh,i had been out of station for such a long time.nice to see doses of humour coming up.
well here's 1 on DREDRECK:
fast forward to 2015.......
dredreck and and his gf(obviously u know who
)have been married and r living happily in a house in ghazia basti(name changed).
they were sleeping comfortably 1 night when suddenly a burgler bursts into their house,takes out a gun and tells them to follow his orders or else hell kill them.
dredreck and ?? are terrified but still they have enuff common sense to do as he says.the burglar is obviously in his 50's has a beard like neppomuck(pygmalion) and he clearly hasnt bathed in abt 3 months.he explains to them that he is an escaped prisoner and has murdered 20 ppl.i.e he is very dangerous.
he tells them to open their clothes and ties ?? to a chair.then he whispers something in her ear and goes to the bathroom.
seeing this dredreck tells ??"look,dear this man hasnt got a woman in years and he looks very dangerous.please do what he says.if he wants to have sex wit u plz dont refuse.two lives r at stake.be starong dear.i love u"
to tis his wife replies"he siad that he was a gay and found u very attractive and asked if there was any vaseline in the house.please be strong dear.2 lives r at stake and remember i love u.........
well here's 1 on DREDRECK:
fast forward to 2015.......
dredreck and and his gf(obviously u know who
)have been married and r living happily in a house in ghazia basti(name changed).they were sleeping comfortably 1 night when suddenly a burgler bursts into their house,takes out a gun and tells them to follow his orders or else hell kill them.
dredreck and ?? are terrified but still they have enuff common sense to do as he says.the burglar is obviously in his 50's has a beard like neppomuck(pygmalion) and he clearly hasnt bathed in abt 3 months.he explains to them that he is an escaped prisoner and has murdered 20 ppl.i.e he is very dangerous.
he tells them to open their clothes and ties ?? to a chair.then he whispers something in her ear and goes to the bathroom.
seeing this dredreck tells ??"look,dear this man hasnt got a woman in years and he looks very dangerous.please do what he says.if he wants to have sex wit u plz dont refuse.two lives r at stake.be starong dear.i love u"
to tis his wife replies"he siad that he was a gay and found u very attractive and asked if there was any vaseline in the house.please be strong dear.2 lives r at stake and remember i love u.........
ahh,i had been out of station for such a long time.nice to see doses of humour coming up.
well here's 1 on DREDRECK:
fast forward to 2015.......
dredreck and and his gf(obviously u know who )have been married and r living happily in a house in ghazia basti(name changed).
they were sleeping comfortably 1 night when suddenly a burgler bursts into their house,takes out a gun and tells them to follow his orders or else hell kill them.
dredreck and ?? are terrified but still they have enuff common sense to do as he says.the burglar is obviously in his 50's has a beard like neppomuck(pygmalion) and he clearly hasnt bathed in abt 3 months.he explains to them that he is an escaped prisoner and has murdered 20 ppl.i.e he is very dangerous.
he tells them to open their clothes and ties ?? to a chair.then he whispers something in her ear and goes to the bathroom.
seeing this dredreck tells ??"look,dear this man hasnt got a woman in years and he looks very dangerous.please do what he says.if he wants to have sex wit u plz dont refuse.two lives r at stake.be starong dear.i love u"
to tis his wife replies"he siad that he was a gay and found u very attractive and asked if there was any vaseline in the house.please be strong dear.2 lives r at stake and remember i love u.........
well here's 1 on DREDRECK:
fast forward to 2015.......
dredreck and and his gf(obviously u know who
)have been married and r living happily in a house in ghazia basti(name changed).they were sleeping comfortably 1 night when suddenly a burgler bursts into their house,takes out a gun and tells them to follow his orders or else hell kill them.
dredreck and ?? are terrified but still they have enuff common sense to do as he says.the burglar is obviously in his 50's has a beard like neppomuck(pygmalion) and he clearly hasnt bathed in abt 3 months.he explains to them that he is an escaped prisoner and has murdered 20 ppl.i.e he is very dangerous.
he tells them to open their clothes and ties ?? to a chair.then he whispers something in her ear and goes to the bathroom.
seeing this dredreck tells ??"look,dear this man hasnt got a woman in years and he looks very dangerous.please do what he says.if he wants to have sex wit u plz dont refuse.two lives r at stake.be starong dear.i love u"
to tis his wife replies"he siad that he was a gay and found u very attractive and asked if there was any vaseline in the house.please be strong dear.2 lives r at stake and remember i love u.........
