OFFTOPIC: Hallmark cards we'd like to see
Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 2:37 pm
I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. We have been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably
need it again.
5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your
promise.
7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was
only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help
but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
11. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
12. Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!
13. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
14. How can I say this....
(Inside card) - Your cooking kills me
15. Hooray.....
(Inside card) - You're divorced.
16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.
1 7. Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
18. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. We have been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably
need it again.
5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your
promise.
7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was
only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help
but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
11. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
12. Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!
13. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
14. How can I say this....
(Inside card) - Your cooking kills me
15. Hooray.....
(Inside card) - You're divorced.
16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.
1 7. Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
18. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.
Yeah , I know a couple of people I'd like to send some of those cards to... 
(The cards i mean) 
