A3 India Community Forum

well, here is another joke:

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the ****tails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'


IGN:Carl 13X
A3 and warcraft damn addictive

A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but he finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up o n a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed he gets o n top of her, kisses her o n the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he is in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in prison, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay and found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too..."


IGN:Carl 13X
a3 and warcraft so damn addictive

The ambassador of a small African nation visited Russia and was entertained by the Russian ambassador. For days, they wined, dined, and treated him to the best hospitality Russia had to offer.

Late on the last night of his visit, after much vodka, the Russian ambassador said, “As your stay is coming to an end, it is now time for you to play our traditional game: Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of my pistol is loaded. Just spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger.”

The African was scared, but a proud representative of a warrior race, and to show his fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun the cylinder, aimed at their heads, and pulled the triggers. Click. Click. Both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

A year later, it was time for the Russian Ambassador to visit to the African ambassador’s country. The Russian was treated with perfect hospitality until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke. “Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette.”

So saying, he showed the Russian into a room with six naked women. “These women are the most beautiful members of our tribes. Select the one you wish to give you a blowjob.” The Russian smiled; he was not averse to the idea, but… “Well, okay, but where’s the downside? Where’s the roulette? Where’s the danger?”

With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered. “Did I forget to mention that one of them is a cannibal?”


IGN:Carl
a3 and warcraft so fckingg damn addictive

Three ducks walked into a bar.

"Say, what's your name?" asked the bartender to the first duck.

"Huey," replied the first duck.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said the duck.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. Then he said to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?"

"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.

"So, how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.

"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?

So the bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."


IGN:Carl -13X
A3 and warcraft so fckking addictive

HOW TO IMPRESS LADIES!
all boyz read this 1

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....


HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

Show up naked.
Bring beer.


IGN:Carl 13X
a3 and warcraft so fckking addictive

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother has
several strands of white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother
and inquisitively ! asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said, "Mom, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?"

He he he i love this onee ROFL!!!!!



IGN:Carl 13XX
A3 and warcraft adictive fkking games

loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the woman a *censored* and the woman called the man a bastard.

Their son walked in and said "whats that mean?".

The parents told him it meant ladies and gentlemen.

The next day the parents decided to have sex, the woman said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my di*k".

Their son walked in and asked "whats that mean?" and the parents said it meant hats and coats.

On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "sh*t" he said, the kid came in, "whats that mean?" and the man said that it was the brand shaving cream he was using.

Downstairs the mom was preparing the turkey and she cut herself with the knife, "fu*k" she said, once again ther kid came in and said "whats that mean?"

The mom said thats was what she was doing to the turkey, then the door bell rang and the kid answered the door to see his relatives for thanksgiving, the kid said, "alright you bastards and *censored*, put your di*ks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the sh*t off his face, and my mom is down here fu*king the turkey!



IGN:carl 13X
a3 and warcraft bastrdd fckinng games ruin every1 life hehehe

couple was about to celebrate fifty years together. Their three kids, all very successful careerists, but not as attentive as the parents would have liked, agreed to a Sunday dinner at the couple's house. The children were all late, as usual, and the excuses flowed like wine:

"Happy Anniversary, Dad!" gushed Son # 1."I'm sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital; you know how it is, and I didn't have time to
stop to get you guys a present!"

"Not to worry," said the old man, "The important thing is, we're together!"

Son #2 rushed in. "POPS! Lookin' good! And MOM! Beautiful as ever! I just got back from closing a big deal in LA! Came straight from the airport, and didn't have time to buy you a gift. I'm so sorry!"

"It's nothing," said the old man, "We're together, that's the main thing!"

Daughter: "Mom, Dad, the firm is sending me to Europe for a conference. I have to run as soon as dinner's over. I didn't have time for a shopping trip!"

The old man sighed, "It doesn't matter; we're just glad we're together!"

Halfway through the meal, the old man, in a reflective mood, said, "Listen, you three. Something's been on my mind, and I want to tell you about it. Your
Mother and I, well, we came to this country during the war, penniless, desperate, and, in the struggle to survive, I'm afraid we never got around to getting married. We just knew that we loved each other, and after a few years, it didn't seem important, so ...."

The three offspring, with a collective gasp, said, "Dad! You mean ... you mean to say . we're . BASTARDS?"

"YEAH, and CHEAP ones, too!" retorted the old man.


IGN:Carl 13XX
a3 and warcraft piissing me off

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day,
when you just need
to take it out on someone... don't take that bad day
out on someone you know,
take it out on someone you don't know! Read this guy's
experience:
Now get this: I was sitting at my desk when I
remembered a phone call I had
to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man
answered saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, and could I
please speak to Robin
Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down! I couldn't
believe anyone could be
that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and
called her. She had
transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with
Robin, I spotted the
wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided
to call it again. When the same person answered again,
I yelled, "You're an *censored*!" and hung up.


Next to his phone number I wrote the word '*censored*'
and put it in my desk
drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
or had a really bad
day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're
an *censored*!" It always
cheered me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller
ID. This was a real
disappointment for me - I would probably have to stop
calling the *censored*.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number. When
I heard, "Hello?" I
made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the
telephone company and
I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our
caller ID program?"
He answered "No!" and slammed the phone down. I
quickly called him back and
said, "That's because you're an *censored*!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story is
to show you how, if
there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do
something about it!
Just dial 823-4863!!
---------- Keep reading - it gets better...
An old lady at the shopping center really took her
time pulling out of a
parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to
leave. Finally her car
began to move, and she started to v-e-r-y slowly back
out of the slot. I
backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to
maneuver.
"Great," I thought, "she's finally leaving." All of a
sudden, a black
Mercedes came flying up the parking aisle, going the
wrong direction, and
pulled into her space. I hit the horn and started
yelling, "You can't do
that. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Mercedes, completely
ignoring me. He walked
toward the shopping center as if he hadn't heard me. I
thought to myself,
"This guy's an *censored*. There's sure a lot of *censored*
in this world." Then
I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window
of his car. I wrote
down the number. Then I hunted for another place to
park.
A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had
just gotten off the
phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an
*censored*!" (it's really
easy since I have his number on speed dial now). I
noticed the phone number
of the guy with the black Mercedes laying on my desk
and figured I'd better
call this guy, too.
After a couple of rings, someone answered the phone
and said, "Hello?" I
said, "Is this the guy with the black Mercedes for
sale?" "Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at
1802 West 34th Street.
It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out
front." "What's your name?"
"My name's Don Hansen." "When's a good time to catch
you, Don?" "I'm home
in the evenings." "Listen, Don, can I tell you
something?" "Yes." "Don, you're
an *censored*!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up, I added Don Hansen's number to my
speed dialer. I must
say, for a while things seemed to be going much better
for me. Now when I had a
problem, I had two *censored* to call.
Then, after several months of calling the *censored* and
hanging up on them,
it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave
the problem some
serious thought and came up with a solution:
First, I had my phone speed dial *censored* number 1. A
man answered nicely
saying, "Hello?" I yelled, "You're an *censored*!" but I
didn't hang up. The
*censored* said, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling
me." I said, "Make me." He said, "What's your name,
Pal?" So I told him,
"Don Hansen." He said, "Where do you live?" I
answered, "1802 West 34th
Street. It's a yellow house and my black Mercedes is
parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start
saying your prayers." "Yeah,
like I'm really scared, *censored*!" and I hung up. Then
I called *censored*
number 2. He answered, "Hello?" I said, "Hello,
*censored*." He said, "If I
ever find out who you are ..." "You'll what?" "I'll
kick your *censored*." "Well,
here's your chance ... I'm coming over right now,
*censored*!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I
told them I was at 1802
West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay
lover as soon as I got
home. Then I made another quick call to Channel 13
about the gang war going
on down on West 34th Street.
After that, I climbed into my car and headed over to
34th Street to watch
the whole thing.
Glorious satisfaction -- watching the two *censored*
kicking the crap out of
each other in front of six squad cars, a police
helicopter, and a news crew
was one of the greatest experiences of my life...

Hope u guys liked these jokes!
Some of em r really great ones..have fun alll.Laugh ur hatts off





IGN:CARL 13XX
IGG:Forbidden chaos
IGW(Work):pk pk pk pk and kill all quanto.hehehe